Blog Post


Holy Christ…mas

Of all the things Ouest learned in school—good and bad—the meaning of this Santa Claus guy has to be the worst. But hey, I’m not going to be a total Scrooge, so now that she knows what’s up, the key is going to be mitigating the damage.

We took the kids to the mall for Santa, just like hundreds of billions of parents before us. Last year Ouest flew off the deep end and Santa eventually had to retreat behind his chair and just peek over the top. Lowe could have cared less. He didn’t know what the hell Ouest was getting on about, but he was happy afterwards when we hit the ice cream stand.

This year it was time for the two of them to switch places. Lowe went bananas and Ouest sat quietly on the grumpy guys knee. Poor Santa. That guy endures a brutal Christmas season the likes of which I can’t even comprehend. (To be fair to Santa, Lowe was really more upset by being taken away from the mall’s race car stroller than for being plopped into Santa’s arms.)

“What would you like for Christmas?” he asked Ouest, fully expecting an answer he could easily promise, thus ensuring that this little girl’s parents wouldn’t have a choice in the matter.

She leaned in very slowly and whispered ever so quietly, “A poke-a-knot pelota, and a muñeca.”

Yep, our little girl speaks to Santa Claus in Spanish. And this Claus guy, despite being such a world traveler, apparently relies solely on his English to get him around the globe.

A polka-dotted ball and a doll. My sweet little girl. She kills me with her innocence. A ball and a doll. Our family truly is living in the year 1966.

As for Lowe, well, he doesn’t know and he doesn’t care. Maybe next year.

Feliz Navidad.

Dec25 1 Dec25 2 Dec25 3

  1. avatar
    Bruce Bidwell Reply

    The doll and ball should fit fine in the Travco. Merry Christmas

  2. avatar
    Joe Homich Reply

    You may be living a 1966 life. But that is admirable!

  3. avatar
    Izzy Reply

    I lived the 1966 life, I sure do miss it. Hope you guys have a great year. My wife and I are looking forward to reading about your new adventure.

  4. avatar
    Rex Reply

    Merry Christmas! Sounds like Oust is growing up to be a very practical young lady. Are those GENUINE Uggs? LOL!

    • avatar
      Pat & Ali Reply

      Genuine Uggs?! Umm, no, those are from Target and I believe they were $22.99. Splurge. :)

  5. avatar
    judith Reply

    The REAL Santa speaks all languages! Or at least he knows the basic toys. I think every family has a picture like this. Merry Christmas to you guys and your extended families. Don’t forget to make some memories today.

  6. avatar
    kerri Reply

    I love how gently Santa is holding Ouest’s fingers as he’s leaning in to listen to her.

  7. avatar
    Barbara Reply

    That photo is hysterical! Happy, smiling daughter, terribly upset, screaming son with arms and legs in the air. The colors are great, I’d print it out and frame it to hang on the wall every Christmas. It’s a classic! Merry Christmas to you all! :)

  8. avatar
    Edan Reply

    Priceless, I’m with you on the overall Xmas sentiment. Terrific pics. I love your new ride!!

  9. avatar
    Jeff & Daile Engle Reply

    just curious though…if it’s such a drudgery, why do this santa thing every year? It’s painfully obvious that it’s not something you guys are into? just curious…

    • avatar
      Pat & Ali Reply

      If what is such a drudgery? Taking the kids to see Santa and get a picture? We enjoy that bit of Christmas. The pictures are better every year. I don’t even get too worked up about paying $25 for the “pros” terrible pictures just so I can stand over their shoulder and take my own. As for being forced by corporate America to spend a thousand dollars per child on a bunch of junk that nobody needs—yeah, that part is not something we are into.

  10. avatar
    cindy Reply

    From one 1960′s family to another… merry everything! Naia asked for a doll and a snow globe. She took some colored cotton balls out of her stocking and BAM. She was done for the day, she was soooo happy!