Comfortable

59 Comments

A couple of months ago I had this conversation with Ouest and afterwards I jotted it down. I found it on my desktop today:

When I told Ouest that we were thinking about taking a smaller truck to South America, instead of our blue bus, I explained to her that would mean we couldn’t pack as much stuff.

She looked down at the small backpack she had been wearing and said, “Well, instead of my backpack, I could just bring my little tiny bag.”

Her “little tiny bag” is essentially a coin purse. In an instant she was willing to discard her belongings for whatever she could fit in a coin purse. A chip off the ol’ block.

Then she pointed out, “I have to bring Molly, though.”

Of course! Geez, what kind of monster does she think I am?

We’ve been hanging here at Grammy’s house, getting the bus ready to sell, working each morning in the markets with my OMentoring group, trying to do fun things with the kids, and generally catching up and getting on top of life a little bit.

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World’s most patient dog. Lowe and Ouest build “kennels” for the dog, who always escapes and causes constant squealing among the kids. Lowe, especially, will play with her for hours.

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A decision made in haste.

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The bus sold in one hour and four minutes, which was nice. We’re certain we could have gotten considerably more money, but at the expense of our sanity. We had e-mails from thirty potential buyers flood in within the first hour, all of which would have required time and patience. In the end, a couple that have followed us for years, bought the bus sight unseen. We even had the money in the bank an hour after that.

We actually ran into this couple a couple years back as we were driving through Nevada, I think it was. Middle of nowhere they happened to be passing down the highway after helping their daughter move. They spotted the bus in a parking lot and stopped in to say hi. Ouest even gave a tour of the inside of the bus. She’s now demanding a 6% commission.

Anyway, it was a relief knowing it was going to someone we really like, and who knows the story of the bus. We didn’t have to spend hours replying to e-mails and haggling over money. It’s going to a good home.

We’re going to miss the bus. We built a lot of great memories around it, and we’ll always have those. But we know there are a million more things to do and see, and this bus wasn’t the right vehicle to take us where we want to go now. We’re excited, and ready, to climb into the Travelall and set off for new horizons again.

There was some talk in the comments recently about comfort. That we wouldn’t be comfortable as a family of four traveling the way we are planning. No bathroom, no kitchen, etc.. If we’ve talked in person in the past few years then you can probably skip this part, because you’ve likely heard it before, but I really believe that comfort is the killer of dreams.

“I have to have a catamaran because I don’t want to be up all night rolling back and forth.”

“We need the 35 footer because it has four slide-outs.”

“We have to have a king-size bed/air conditioning/ice/shower.”

Whatever. It all cost money, and it all cost time, and it all ends up costing people the ability to simply take off. I think 99% of the time they are just looking for excuses so that they can explain why they aren’t doing what they’ve always wanted to do.

Ali and I never talk about our comfort. It’s way down the list of concerns. We could all benefit from a little discomfort, I think. My parents grew up in homes with outhouses and no running water. They shared beds with their siblings. They slept four or more to a room. And yet, that same generation has grown up to believe that they need/deserve every convenience known to man, at all times. That everyone needs their own bedroom. That air conditioning is a necessity, not a convenience. Nobody wants a car they need to work on. Nobody wants to change their own oil. Nobody even wants to wash their own car any more. It all just starts to seem completely crazy to me. Everyone wants to stay shut-up at home because it’s comfortable there.

I hate being comfortable. After a couple weeks of it I feel itchy, overweight, and pale. My feet are tapping. I watch the calendar and actually care what day it is. I want to hit the road. I want to get lost, and run out of gas. I want to get stuck in the sand. I want to break down and have to solve a dirty problem. I want to sleep in a tent on the roof of my car. And I want to do all of this with my kids and my wife. I want the kids to see that life is about a lot more than being comfortable. You can be dirty, you can sleep on a hard bed, you can sweat, and you can go to the bathroom behind a tree. Life will go on.

Does that mean we’ll never be comfortable? Of course not. We’ll stay in hotels. We’ll rent apartments. We’ll eat in air-conditioned restaurants. We’ll still get plenty of comfort. We just won’t get it every day. We won’t treat it like it is our right. We don’t deserve comfort, we earn it—and when we get it, it’s that much more enjoyable.

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59 Comments on “Comfortable”

  1. Bumfuzzle philosophy . . . I’ve always loved it. Can’t wait to read about the new adventures.

  2. You make a great point! There is a trade-off: too much comfort and you lose freedom and flexibility. It’s all about balance. Your upcoming road trip to South America is something I can only dream about – at least for now!

  3. looks like we are going to have to add prolific philosopher to your already established credits – great photographer – sailor – bus driver – pit trader – great dad – world traveler and best Mexican mustache north of El Paso

  4. ‘Comfort is the killer of dreams.’ I love that! I think it’s the perfect theme for my classroom next year.

  5. Thanks for your adventures. At the risk of exhibiting my jealousy of your trips, there is a certain level of comfort in having the funds to travel.

    1. That’s true, Leslie, but there is also a difference between “having the funds to travel” and “using our funds to travel.”

  6. “I think 99% of the time they are just looking for excuses so that they can explain why they aren’t doing what they’ve always wanted to do.”

    ..and there you have it.Nice.

  7. Pat, it never ceases to amaze me how profound your message is and how consistent you are with it over the years. What you do “looks” easy to so many people, but it requires hard work. It’s just not work in an office, but it’s work nonetheless. I, along with all of your readers, envy your ability to do what you have done and continue to do.

  8. What a great story! My good friend is the person who bought the bus and I am so happy for both parties!

  9. Love the message. Life’s discomforts both physically and emotionally are excellent schools of learning. And help us move through the really heavy stuff of life with balance and grace.

  10. I read a great article a couple of weeks ago that explored the thought what the most important question was one could ask oneself during ones lifetime. The author came to the conclusion that it was “how much are you prepared to suffer?”

    I think that’s genius. Adventure comes with suffering. Financial success comes with suffering. Becoming a rockstar comes with suffering.

    Most people want the end result, fame, wealth, an interesting life, but they don’t want to suffer for it.

  11. “My parents grew up in homes with outhouses and no running water. They shared beds with their siblings. They slept four or more to a room. And yet, that same generation has grown up to believe that they need/deserve every convenience known to man, at all times. ”
    It’s perfectly normal to want what you don’t have or haven’t had, thus your parents wanted the convenience and comfort they grew up without. Or maybe they felt deserving of it because they felt they had ‘suffered’ without it. Either way, it’s a compensating behavior.
    Pat and Ali, you grew up in the comfortable Midwest, probably in homes with a certain level of comfort. So you’ve experienced ‘comfort’ and now want something other than that. It’s a variation of the ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome. Nothing wrong with it, either way. It makes the world go around. Tension seeks resolution.

    1. No doubt, that has a lot to do with it. I’m certainly not going to pretend that I—or Ali—had to deal with any discomfort as children/young adults. Maybe it really is as simple as, “You want what you don’t have.” Even if what you don’t have is discomfort.

  12. Pat, the post rang true with one of my favorite quotes and ideals. You’ve probably read it. Thanks for sharing.

    “To be truly challenging, a voyage, like a life, must rest on a firm foundation of financial unrest. Otherwise, you are doomed to a routine traverse, the kind known to yachtsmen who play with their boats at sea… “cruising” it is called. Voyaging belongs to seamen, and to the wanderers of the world who cannot, or will not, fit in. If you are contemplating a voyage and you have the means, abandon the venture until your fortunes change. Only then will you know what the sea is all about.

    “I’ve always wanted to sail to the south seas, but I can’t afford it.” What these men can’t afford is not to go. They are enmeshed in the cancerous discipline of “security.” And in the worship of security we fling our lives beneath the wheels of routine – and before we know it our lives are gone.

    What does a man need – really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in – and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That’s all – in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention for the sheer idiocy of the charade.

    The years thunder by, The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.

    Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life? ”
    ― Sterling Hayden, Wanderer

    1. This is probably my favorite cruising book ever. When I first started reading it (really within just the first few pages) I was absolutely blown away at exactly how connected and in line my thinking was with his. I don’t have my copy any more, but am buying another right now. Highly recommended.

      Wanderer by Sterling Hayden $2.99 Kindle

  13. From now on instead of trying to explain why I want to live the nomad life, I’m just going to show people this. We’ve been fortunate enough to have a few “uncomfortable” experiences of our own and they are some of my very best memories. I’ve been living through you guys since before Lowe was born and am so excited to hear about this new adventure. Maybe we’ll see you on the east coast.

  14. This is the best page that I have ever read from you!
    Your parents grew up about like I did. By doing so, I can live comfortably where a lot of people would turn their noses up at.

  15. From the vantage point of 65, I’d advise people to sit back, get quiet, and examine their lives. The fit and healthy part passes so quickly and soon your dreams will fade or be squashed under illness or disability.

    Hubby and I always thought we’d be active and adventurous until 80 or so, but a car crash and arthritis have intervened. That said, we spent 2 semi-uncomfortable months in Nicaragua and loved it! Now we have to make the decision to keep (and be comfortable in) our lovely little house on an amazing naturalized acreage, or sell it all and travel in spite of our pain.

    Pain is a different level of discomfort but on our death beds, I think we will be more satisfied with our lives if we take the road less travelled. You continue to be an inspiration, Pat.

  16. For the past 6 years I’ve been tied to the reality of a sick relative who depends on my help. For this reason I can’t (and won’t) with a clear conscience leave on my adventure. In the mean time, I will rejoice in your travels and live life vicariously.

  17. It’s exactly why we bought our ’73 Dodge Xplorer and hit the road last year. And exactly why we are camp hosting this summer in a “dry” cabin. In Alaska! We aren’t concerned about the comfort. There is NO wrong way to live YOUR life! Cheers Bums, can’t wait to follow along!

  18. We have the R V but this week have opted for the adventure of a 5 day bike camping trip in Eastern Oregon. Discomfort? Sure some but pleasure? You bet! At 70 the list just gets longer…

  19. Best blog post in some time. Not that they are not all great. 🙂 As a kid we toured Europe on a camping trip with three adults and three kids in a Renault Dauphine with a roof rack loaded with gear. It was awesome!

    George <— currently residing in a Sprinter Van

  20. Wow– I don’t ever remember seeing so many comments on a Bum post. Takes me back to what was a seminal book for me in my teenage years, On The Loose, by a couple of young brothers from Berkeley. Don’t know if it’s still in print, but you might get it for the kids in a few years. Extremely powerful. It’s a Sierra Club book and can be read in an hour or so but is beyond profound, Nails your philosophy.
    “Adventure is not in the guidebook and beauty is not on the map. Seek and Ye shall find.”
    Great post, Pat & Co.!!

  21. Minimalism: The intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it. Rock On Bumfuzzle, our truely minimalist friends. Stay safe.

  22. Outstanding blog posting. My husband and I are always eliminating excess…an ongoing task. Our home is 860 sq. ft and after traveling in our 18.5 foot van, it seems much too large. We are comfortable, but we don’t demand comfort at the level most do. Showers happen less frequently; we “make-do” often; we eat well but simply; the outdoors is our playground. We have freedoms others dream about but, you’re so right, their cluttered lives hold them back. Thanks for your travel adventures and your wisdom.

  23. Every time I take a hot shower I relish with delight at how wonderful it is and how lucky I am.
    This appreciation stems from two months of rustic (no money college years) camping long ago in Southern Spain and Morocco where freezing cold showers were all we had. I never thought that pleasure and appreciation of minor comforts would carry through the rest of my life.
    Ride-on Bums!

  24. Nice one, Pat. We are hauling out for the summer and will be in Charleston, SC for a few months to work on the bank account for a bit. You guys should find an excuse to stop by.

  25. Bums & all the “quotes” people. You all should be very proud of your contribution to a very remarkable post.

  26. The best memories I have from childhood were when my family was on the road/camping. I must have talked about them enough when my kids were growing up that that’s what they crave now, life on the road.

  27. Pat you got it, but what is comfort, traveling in your 40ft RV with every kind of luxury, and all the cares of upkeep, etc. Being able to park it, getting a heart attack every time you fill it up. Or jumping on a bus with backpack and no worries. I’ll take the backpack any day. I like the pic of the car with moss growing on it. Yep, you are definitely in Oregon. And were did Quest get the 6%, as they say in Germany, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Great Post !!!

  28. Most profound post ive seen in a while. Love following you guys. Until i can pull the plug, i will live vicariously through you.

  29. My favorite essay from “On the Loose”:

    So why do we do it?
    What good is it?
    Does it teach you anything?
    Like determination ? invention? improvisation?
    Foresight? hindsight?
    Love?
    Art? music? religion?
    Strength or patience or accuracy or quickness or tolerance or
    Which wood will burn and how long is a day and how far is a mile
    And how delicious is water and smoky green pea soup?
    And how to rely
    On your
    Self?

  30. Right on! Anyone who thinks yall won’t be able to hack it/or will be pining for comfort in your newest mode of travel has not been paying attention to the tales you’ve been telling for years. You guys will rock it…and have the greatest time. Kids are some of the absolute BEST at living without comforts (those that haven’t been molly coddled) Some folks have pretty luxe ideas about what is necessary comfort. They don’t actually need it…but they think they do. I’ve found that the most enjoyable and interesting adventures in life are seldom found within the comfort zone….instead they’re out there beyond it where it’s just the bare minimum essentials, you, and the experience. Go Bumfuzzles!

  31. I’m looking forward to the 2020 postings of Bumfuzzle where you guys are living out of a shopping cart. I don’t know how you’re going to do it, but I’m sure it’s going to be awesome!

  32. I saw an RV show two nights ago. They were deciding which $50K+ 5th wheel to buy, and the wife says “it can’t be the brown one because it doesn’t have two baths. We have to have 2 baths.”

  33. Hi: Pat and/or Allie: Next time you are near a TV at Grannies or where ever. Find the series “Alone” on the history channel and show Ouest some of the shelters the contestants constructed. The pic of her making the stick sculpture shows she could certainly make a great backwoods shelter. Good job Ouest!!

  34. Thank for post about comfortable! That what i’m struggling with the decision to make before hit the road next year or two.

  35. Re-‘discovering’ the site after too many years. Followed the first adventures as my wife and I prepped for 2 years cruising the Caribbean and digging back in to your adventures is a welcome respite in the PNW. Noticed you were mentioned in B. Gifford’s FB post from NYC. Their good friends from this corner of the world and seeing that just reminds me how small the world really is.
    And car rear lift-gates that auto-close and open are proof that we are far too lazy and comfortable.

  36. “Have you only comfort, and the lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest, and becomes a host, and then a master?
    Ay, and it becomes a tamer, and with hook and scourge makes puppets of your larger desires.
    Though its hands are silken, its heart is of iron.
    It lulls you to sleep only to stand by your bed and jeer at the dignity of the flesh. It makes mock of your sound senses, and lays them in thistledown like fragile vessels.
    Verily the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, and then walks grinning in the funeral. ”

    The Prophet
    by Kahlil Gibran

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