The Covid Fog

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At the beginning of December I called my mom one afternoon. Her sister Beth was visiting and was the one who answered the phone. I sarcastically asked, “Who is this?” She replied in a panicky voice, “Who is this?” and one beat later said, “Pat, they’re taking your mom to the hospital. They’re putting her in the ambulance right now.”

By the next afternoon I was in Arizona and Grammy was in the hospital with Covid and the flu. It didn’t look good. The doctors were upfront with me, but she hung on. The next couple of weeks were a rollercoaster. One day her numbers would be good, and the next the doctors would explain that her body was shutting down. One morning the nurse called very early, and by the time we walked into the ICU they had all gathered to give us hugs and tell us they were sorry. Nurses in the ICU aren’t often wrong—they’ve seen it all before.

Yet Grammy kept going. Her lungs kept improving and with one change in medication the rest of her body warmed up and got with the program again. After nearly two weeks on a ventilator, the doctor pulled it out and everyone held their breath. She started breathing, and within hours they even removed the oxygen. She was sitting in bed, with a seemingly healthy body again, but her mind wasn’t snapping out of the fog. The next couple weeks we waited for her mind to wake up, but it wouldn’t. They did all the tests and couldn’t find anything wrong.

“Covid fog. All we can do is wait,” the doctor said.

And then one day, after about two weeks of being off of all medications, she started talking. Just a few words, but better than nothing. After a month of spending every day with her in the hospital, the doctors told me it was time for her to go home. They couldn’t do any more for her. Basically, she’s either going to snap out of it, or not.

At home she quickly came around. Her mind shook off the fog. On day two back home, she answered an obscure $1200 Jeopardy question.

So for the past couple of weeks we’ve spent our time working on getting her back on her feet. Still a long road and a lot of work ahead, but everyone is feeling confident she can do it.


I took off for Arizona in a hurry while Ali and the kids situated the boat and followed a few days later.

As soon as they got to Grammy’s they set to work giving us a little holiday spirit. Notice where Bridget is sitting—she is never more than a couple feet from Ali or the kids.

This year promised to be a big birthday, Ouest’s thirteenth, and also her golden birthday. It didn’t turn out at all like we expected. Fortunately for us she is a caring, empathetic, and unselfish person. We did our best under the circumstances, but this is a birthday we should probably try and make up for next year.

Aunt Beth was here to help us celebrate the best teenager ever.

Ouest literally asked us for nothing for her birthday. We (mostly Ali) came up with a couple of ideas, though. One of which was a sewing machine. She is artsy, and has friends who enjoy making clothes, so we thought she might like to give it a try herself. Judging by the response, it was a pleasant surprise.

We were on such a roll with this birthday. Not even the cupcakes turned out. Ouest didn’t bat an eyelash. This year’s cake was nothing more than a pile of frosting and cherries.

I’ve been meaning to get new tires for the Porsche for a long time. Seeing how we were going to be here a while, I finally went ahead and got it done.

Lowe is the family pogo champion. At 1,000 it was time to stop counting.

When things were looking their worst for mom, my cousins (Beth’s boys), showed up to lift our spirits.

We’re very good at making a competition out of anything. Wiffle ball? Bucket? Wiffle Bucket! Game on. Not to brag, but I’m going to be shining that Championship trophy for years to come.

Grammy’s house gets afternoon sun in the front yard. The retirement community neighbors have to be wondering what the heck is going on with the young people living in the garage.

Ali’s birthday came and went without fanfare, and then it was Christmas. Again, not our best. We asked for gift lists, but neither of them had anything they wanted. On the one hand, as parents it is incredibly frustrating when you don’t have any ideas and on the other hand it is gratifying to know they aren’t obsessed with possessions and are happy with what they have. We found a few small gifts and spent a quiet Christmas morning alone before heading to the hospital.

We tried to find fun things to do. The batting cages were fun. I hadn’t swung at a fastball in ages, but the muscle memory was still there. The kids were right on the ball, too.

Just a few miles down the road from Grammy’s we can go from desert to mountain. The highest peak in Madera Canyon is over 9,400′. We didn’t get nearly that high, but it felt great to get out there and stretch our legs.

My birthmom Theresa is a caretaker for her sister up in Phoenix. She is a whirlwind of positivity that we really appreciate.

Literally just three days earlier there was not one of us that would have thought Grammy would be coming home to be with us. While we still felt wholly unprepared for the challenge, we also couldn’t stomach the other options. Suck it up, do our best to behave like a nurse, and hope for a rapid recovery.

January fourth, I ring in forty-nine years. Scored a cake for this one. Things must be looking up.

Getting Grammy into a wheelchair and then outside was a huge step in the right direction.

Another trip up to Madera Canyon.

Still seems amazing that we’re all having dinner together. For quite a while now we’ve had an after-dinner tradition of High, Low, Angel. We go around the table and list off our highs of the day, a low of the day if we want, and name someone our angel of the day. It’s a great way to slow down and appreciate all the good things that happen every day, even on the days that you might at first think were bad or unremarkable. The fog is lifting around here.

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40 Comments on “The Covid Fog”

  1. So glad your Mom is on the Road to Recovery! Wishing you the best 2023 ! I hope to see your Mom meeting up with you in the not too distant future!

  2. Peaceful 2023 to you all, after what had been an incredibly tough time for you all. So glad to see your mom home and recovering.

  3. Families are the best!! Your mum is a trooper and made it through…Covid fog sucks…Take care and hand in…Marilyn

  4. I received a sewing machine for my 16th birthday, and more than 20 years later I still use it regularly. Amazing gift for Ouest. The life lessons, and usefulness of that tool will stay with her for years to come.

  5. The love has pulled her through, so great to see her home. And Brigit the dog is so cute, what a wonderful little dog.

  6. Great news that Grammy is home! She must be one tough lady. Many happy birthdays to all. (Before you get 50 nautical miles out to sea, you better search the boat thoroughly. I suspect you might find a certain dog stowaway)

  7. You are such an amazing family! I’ve been watching you since I found your blog when your kids were babies. I have always loved watching your mom in the photos and her interactions with the kids. So much love! It’s wonderful to see her smiling after going through so much. We almost lost our firstborn (adult son) 10 years ago to a heart attack at age 32. He was in a coma for a week. The nurses called us one morning and weren’t hopeful so we went in to essentially say goodbye. That’s when he lifted his finger a little and his eyes fluttered and he tried to pull his ventilator out. I believe he is a miracle and the same with your mom. She has so much joy and love to give you guys and vice versa. Safe and happy travels when you get back on the water again.

  8. So happy your mom is getting better. The best gift is always our presence together. Happy New year and many blessings to you all.

  9. So glad Grammy is on the mend!

    Ouest will love that sewing machine. There are so many things she can make! I used my mom’s and since I graduated from college I have always had a machine. Mostly for crafts. But in high school and college I made a lot of clothes!! With her creativity there will be a lot of amazing projects.

  10. Very glad your Mom is on the Road to Recovery! Appreciate all the good things and do your best under the circumstances.

    Happy birthday to all!
    Your 2 kids are an amazing blessing and are truly happy with what they have !!!! I saw that 1st hand here at our STT beach.

    The Porsche seems perfect.

  11. Glad to hear your mom is on the mend and you are starting the new year well.

    If you’re still in the area, Karchner Caverns requires reservations, but it’s nearby and worth a visit.

  12. So glad to hear your Mom is starting to recover. I have been stalking your page waiting for news. Covid is like no other illness. The fatigue lasts way too long and can have other consequences. I hope she makes a complete recovery.

    There are some great pattern sites for pdf patterns. You print out 8 1/2 x 11 pages and tape them together. You can do it anywhere in the world. My two favorites are Patterns for Pirates, (great tank top pattern) and Peek a Boo Patterns. They both have Facebook pages that provide help and advice. They also show many variations of the same pattern. A little advice if you cannot find fabric. Purchase xxl mens t shirts to make tops and the same for bottoms for pajama pants. Knits are very forgiving to work with.

    I am a life long sewist. I hope Ouest falls in love with it too. If she ever needs any advice; don’t hesitate to email and I will be happy to give her my phone number.

  13. Such wonderful news! An even better birthday present than the the sewing machine, which is awesome.

    Best wishes for your mom’s continued recovery!

  14. YAY! Great to read of Grammy’s recovery-we’ve been rooting for her here! Best birthday present for both you & Ouest! Lovely to see your happy faces & sure that love helped pull Grammy thru. How wonderful that you’ve raised 2 kids so lacking in consumerism! 🙂 Enjoy the photos as always too. Keep on keeping on, Grammy! 🙂

  15. Good genetic material can never be underestimated…coupled with love everything is possible! Goodonyas

    Positive thoughts and energy coming your way!

  16. So glad to hear she is doing better! I hope the improvement keeps coming!
    She has an awesome family!

  17. I am so happy Grammy is home and continuing to improve. Bridget looks so happy to have her person back.
    Happy birthdays to you all! Ouest what a great present I hope you enjoy it! Way to go Lowe on the pogo stick a 1000! That is impressive!
    Happy New Year to you all! 🎉

  18. That’s great news about your mom. She lives in paradise. Like her, I’m a transplant to the GV area from Portland. 58 winters there were enough. Great to have the Santa Rita’s in our back yard.

  19. Such hopeful news about your mother; I was really scared for you that she would not pull through. This just made my day!

  20. I am so glad to read this post and breathe a sigh of relief that your mom is doing better. All the best to all of you Bumfuzzlers in 2023!

  21. I’m so glad that your mother pulled through and is on the mend.

    Is she by any chance in Green Valley? My in-laws live there and bird watching in Madera Canyon is always a highlight. If you see the Family Joint pizza truck (often parked outside of La Posada), give it a try — quite good pizza.

  22. As Warren Zevon said in his waning days on, he left one salient wisdom:

    Enjoy every sandwich.

    Great news and steady on.

  23. So happy for the good news!!! Great to hear.
    Adorable that Quest is interested in sewing!
    Not sure if she would be into Meg’s patterns or not, but she does have a great online sewing class for beginners! Check out http://www.sewliberated.com.
    Happy New Year!

  24. Hi guys!
    I am so glad to hear Grammy is home. I am old as you know, and it’s been a hard time during the Covid years. This news is a bright spot full of hope and promise.
    Happy 13th Ouest. I know you will enjoy that sewing machine.
    Fair Winds and much love
    Magic

  25. Wow, I’m surprised we didn’t bump into each other in the hospital. My mom has spent the last month and a half in either Oro Valley Hospital or Tucson Medical Center. She is headed home Saturday morning! Glad to hear your mom is home and on the mend. “Click, Click, there’s no place like home!” is the theme around my family……. God Bless.

  26. Hot dog! That’s great news your mom is on the mend. The fact you’re all together and doing well is a great present in itself. Best wishes for the new year.

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